When Fire Meets Water
by MoonGoddess09
Summary: Zutara from Zuko's POV. As usual, I have taken great liberties with the plot.
1. Chapter 1

I am going to find the Avatar if it's the last thing I do. It's my destiny as the banished prince.

* * *

I stare at my crew, then out at the horizon. "We're going to lose the Avatar! Hurry up!"

"Prince Zuko," Uncle says softly, his hand on my arm. "You may want to consider giving them a break. We've been sailing for almost eighteen hours."

"I don't care. I can't lose him."

"Prince Zuko…"

I ignore him. "There! They're going to be coming down for the night. We can attack then."

Uncle sighs, but says nothing.

Once night begins falling, I take most of my crew and make my way to the Avatar's campsite. One of the members steps on a twig, alerting the Avatar and his friends of our presence. I curse and send a fireball at his waterbender friend, which she deflects with a water whip. She's a pathetically weak fighter. Her brother is just as useless; he doesn't even bend.

In the end, the Avatar escapes. Again and again, he escapes.

* * *

After a particularly brutal loss, we run into Zhao, a Fire Nation commander, in the open sea. Great. Just what I need.

"If it isn't the banished prince and the failed general," he says by way of greeting.

"Commander Zhao," Uncle, always respectful, replies.

"I'm taking your crew."

"What?!" I exclaim.

His lips curl into a smirk. "Higher rank, higher priority. The Firelord believes in my ability to find the Avatar."

"You can't do this."

He gestures to his right, then behind me. I look; my crew is gone. Bastard.

"You should just give up now," he says. "You'll never make anything of yourself."

Uncle grabs my arm before I can attack. "Prince Zuko!"

Zhao smirks again. "Pleasure doing business with you."

Uncle holds onto me until they're out of attack range. When he lets go, I hurl a fireball at Zhao's ship. It misses, of course.

"Why did you hold me back?" I scream, hurling a fireball at the sea. "I could have killed him!"

"I think we need some tea," Uncle replies, picking up his kettle.

"To hell with your tea!" I throw one of his teacups onto the deck.

Uncle picks up the pieces, shaking his head. "Prince Zuko, your inability to control your anger is going to be your undoing."

* * *

I plan a new mode of attack since we lost sight of the Avatar while dealing with Zhao. The Avatar needs a waterbending teacher. Time to go to the North Pole.

"How do you plan on getting in?" Uncle asks. "There's a reason the Fire Nation hasn't captured them."

"I'll figure it out," I reply.

We train as we sail to the North Pole, and Uncle once again counsels me on my anger and impatience.

"Of course I'm impatient!" I yell. "Restoring my honor depends on capturing the Avatar!"

Uncle just sips his tea.

When we reach the North Pole, I find a chute the penguins use to travel and climb in while Uncle stays with the ship. All the tunnels I take to gain entrance are filled with water, and I'm kind of nervous about running out of air. I make it inside, dropping to the ground in a sort of oasis. That's when I notice the Avatar sitting cross-legged, his arrows glowing, in the Avatar State. Perfect.

"Don't even think about it," I hear a female voice say.

I turn to see the Avatar's waterbender friend. "You."

She's in a fighting stance, so I decide to give her what she wants. We battle, my patience quickly wearing away. I'm not destroying her.

"You've been practicing." The words are out before I can stop them.

"I have."

She has more confidence too, but I know part of that is from defending her friend. She's winning for so long that I'm grateful when the sun rises, giving me an edge. The Avatar is mine. I take him out into the blinding snow, finally finding a cave far enough away to avoid detection. Unfortunately, he comes out of the Avatar State too soon, and we're back in the snow. His friends and sky bison find us, and the waterbender jumps down.

"Here for a rematch?" I ask her.

"Trust me, Zuko, it's not going to be much of a match," she replies, throwing me about forty feet in the air with a column of snow. I black out when I hit the ground.

When I wake up, I'm in the city and the sky is red. The moon's gone. I see Zhao trying to escape, so I shoot a fireball at him.

"You're alive?" he says, a mix of anger and surprise on his face.

"I'm alive."

"You should have just accepted your fate as a failure and as a disgrace."

I shoot a fireball at his head in response.

We continue to battle, then Zhao gasps. "It can't be!"

The moon's back. Before I can respond, a giant water spirit grabs Zhao. Against my better judgment, I hold out my hand to help. He refuses, and the spirit pulls him under. I stand staring at the water until I hear someone say my name. I turn to Uncle, who smiles and says, "I'm surprised you're not trying to capture the Avatar."

I think back to the snow, to the waterbender attacking me. I've got to admit, I'm kind of impressed. And I'm sure they're the ones who saved me. "I'm tired," I reply.

Uncle smiles. "A man needs his rest."

Yes, I do.

* * *

We start traveling again the next day and come across Azula, my younger sister. Another person I don't want to see.

"What are you doing here?" I demand.

"Father sent me," she replies. "He wanted me to tell you that he wants you to come home. He said he would pardon you."

"He wants me home?" I never thought I'd hear those words.

"Yes. He wants his son home."

Later, as Uncle and I are preparing our things, he cautions me against believing Azula. "Things in our family are not always what they seem."

"Father wants me home!" I snap. "You're just a lazy, selfish old man who's jealous of his younger brother!"

Uncle sighs. "Prince Zuko, I can assure you that the only problem I have with my younger brother is the way he treated you."

I automatically touch my scar, then yank my hand away. "Well, all of that is about to change."

"I hope you are correct."

Azula greets us when we reach the dock and a bad feeling washes over me. One of her crew members makes a move to strike, so Uncle and I immediately take a defensive stance.

"What is this?" I shout.

Azula smirks. "Father considers you a miserable failure. He would rather have you rot in prison than out in the world embarrassing the Fire Nation."

I hurl a fireball at her, which she dodges. "Don't worry, Zuzu. Jail won't be that bad."

"Shut up!" I yell, attacking again.

After a good twenty minutes of fighting, Uncle and I manage to escape. I'm so angry I can't see straight. How could I have been so stupid?

"Uncle, I'm leaving."

He stops and looks at me. "Excuse me?"

"It's time for me to find my own way."

He stares into my eyes, like he's reading my soul. Finally, he nods. "If you feel it is best."

"I feel it is best." I hold out my hand. "We part ways here."

He ignores my outstretched hand and embraces me. "Take care of yourself, Nephew."

"Good-bye, Uncle."


	2. Chapter 2

Being on my own isn't as easy as I thought it would be. I run out of supplies after five days and have to resort to stealing to eat. The Avatar could be anywhere; the Earth Kingdom is huge. And I've been having flashbacks and nightmares nonstop. Just seeing or smelling certain things trigger the flashbacks. Finally, I'm so exhausted that I pass out in a forest.

"_Uncle!" I yell, running after him. "Uncle!"_

_I hear Azula's cruel laughter and see lightning all around me, so I run faster. I reach out, missing his cloak by inches. "Uncle!"_

_Azula's laugh is right behind me; lightning just misses me. I grab Uncle's cloak and spin him around, coming face to face with my father. I let go and get hit smack in the face with a column of snow that sends me flying. _

I shoot up, whacking my head on a tree branch. "Ouch!" I rub my head and scan my surroundings for danger. Nothing. It was just a dream.

After a quick breakfast, I start walking. Azula's cruel laugh breaks the stillness of the forest and I shiver, looking wildly around me. If she's here, the Avatar is close. I follow the sound to the village and see the Avatar, the waterbender, her brother, and another little girl I don't recognize. She's an earthbender, though.

I look past the Avatar and see Uncle standing on his other side, also facing Azula. She sees me and I automatically slide into attack mode next to the others. She's clearly outnumbered, but smirks as she looks at us. "Pathetic. All of you."

Nobody says a word. Azula drops her fighting stance, though none of the rest of us do. Then she sends a bolt of lightning into Uncle's chest and runs.

"Uncle!" I yell, rushing to his aid.

The waterbender moves to help, but I push her off. "Get out of here!"

She looks at Uncle, hesitating, but does as I say. They leave on the sky bison and I take Uncle somewhere to care for him. Luckily, the lightning strike missed all his major organs. I stay by his side as he recovers and apologize for the terrible things I said. "I'll understand if you never forgive me."

"Forgiveness is a funny thing, Nephew," Uncle says, sipping his tea. "If I refused to forgive every man who ever insulted me, I would be knotted up with hate. I forgive you, Nephew. I forgave you when you said it."

"Thank you, Uncle."

* * *

Once a suitable amount of time has passed, I decide to ask Uncle for a favor. "I want to learn lightning."

He doesn't look surprised. "It is a very difficult firebending form."

"I know. I'm ready to learn."

"Very well."

We practice for weeks and I still can't get it. So Father was right. Azula is better.

I didn't realize I'd said that out loud until Uncle says, "Better is a relative term. Azula is ruthless; that is why she mastered the element. She _wants_ to spread pain. But fire is so much more than pain and suffering."

I scoff. "And I don't want to spread pain?"

"No. Your quest for the Avatar has revolved around restoring your honor, not destroying everything and everyone in sight. Remember how you received your scar. You were trying to save innocent lives."

I shudder when I think of that day. "I suppose so."

Uncle moves into a different stance. "I'm going to teach you how to redirect lightning instead. I learned from studying waterbenders."

I immediately think of the Avatar's waterbender friend, then push her from my mind. "Show me."

"The key is to direct the lightning through your stomach. If it goes through your heart, well…" His voice trails off, the implications unsaid.

We practice the form for awhile, then I tell Uncle to shoot lightning at me. But he shakes his head. "I hope you'll never have to use this technique."

"But how will I know if I can do it?" I feel panicky and I don't like it.

"You'll have to take that chance."

"That's stupid!" Panic gives away to anger. "I'll find my own lightning."

I take off running, up a mountain to where a storm is brewing. "Hit me!" I yell at the sky as lightning flashes around me. "Give me your worst!"

I wait, but my command is ignored. So I trudge back to the abandoned house Uncle and I had found, soaking wet. He wordlessly hands me a cup of tea, which I sip while I dry by the fireplace.

"When I went to the market while you were gone, I found Wanted posters for us," Uncle says, sitting next to me. "I think we should go to Ba Sing Se. We'll blend in among the refugees, and that's the last place Azula will expect us to be."

* * *

So we take the trip to Ba Sing Se. We receive an apartment in the city and Uncle is eventually given his own tea shop to run. I'm forced to help.

Then I find a flyer indicating that the Avatar is searching for his lost sky bison. Perfect. I don my Blue Spirit disguise and spend the evenings searching for the Avatar. One night, fate is on my side. I follow the Avatar and his friends deep underground, but we get separated. So I search for the bison instead.

"There you are," I say softly, finally finding the right door.

"You never think before you act, do you?" a voice says from behind me.

I turn to see Uncle. "What?"

"What are you planning to do with the bison?"

"Use it to capture the Avatar."

Uncle sighs. "Prince Zuko, please find your own destiny. Your father is forcing one destiny on you, but you don't have to use that one. Find your own."

I look at Uncle, then at the bison. It just stares back at me. Finally, I sigh and break the shackles, then leave it where the Avatar can find it. Uncle and I leave the tunnels and head to the surface. In the distance, I watch the Avatar and his friends fly away, the Blue Spirit mask in my hand.

"I'm proud of you, Nephew," Uncle says, his hand on my shoulder.

I just stare at the mask in my hand, then drop it into the water. I watch it sink into the darkness and walk away.

When we reach our apartment, I start feeling really sick and dizzy. Then everything goes black.

* * *

Everything's spinning and I'm hot and cold and thirsty when I wake up. Uncle helps me drink, but I'm drifting in and out of consciousness. I'm going to die.

_I'm with the Firelord. I'm sitting on my throne with blue and red dragons curled up around me. The blue dragon, Azula's voice, speaks. "You should rest, Firelord Zuko. You look so tired. Rest."_

"_Don't listen to her," the red dragon, Uncle's voice, says. "Leave. Leave now!"_

I'm up with a start, my head pounding. Uncle is by my side in seconds. "What's wrong with me?" I manage.

He puts a cool cloth on my head. "You're going through a spiritual metamorphosis."

"Why?"

"Because releasing the Avatar's bison was so against your self-image. It won't be easy, but, when you finish, you'll be the beautiful prince that was locked away inside of you."

Before I can answer, I feel myself lapsing back into unconsciousness.

_I'm looking at myself in a mirror. My scar is gone, replaced by arrows. I look down. More arrows. I'm the Avatar!_

I shoot up, touching my scar. It's there and I'm feeling so much better. I stand carefully and walk to Uncle, who's cooking something. "That smells wonderful."

"It's so nice to see you up and around," he replies, stirring the mixture.

"May I taste?" I ask, indicating his soup.

"You probably won't like it."

I take a ladle full anyway. "It's delicious."

Uncle looks surprised and I laugh. "I'm feeling very optimistic right now. It's a beautiful day, your tea shop is opening, and I'll be right there beside you."

He smiles and embraces me. "That means a lot to me."

* * *

Things continue looking up when Uncle gets invited to the palace to serve tea to the Earth King. He smiles proudly. "I've never served tea for royalty before."

The Dai Li, the Earth King's security force, is everywhere when we enter the royal chamber. Then I see Azula smirking on the throne. "Hello, Zuzu."

The Dai Li agents surround us and I take a defensive stance. Uncle, on the other hand, takes a sip of tea and breathes fire at them. Then he runs away, urging me to join him. I stay where I am, facing Azula.

"So you're staying?" she says. "Shall we have an Agni Kai?"

"I'm not fighting you," I reply.

"Very well." She snaps her fingers. "Arrest him."

The Dai Li subdue me with earthbending, then throw me into an underground dungeon. There's someone else there too, in Water Tribe garb. When I look up, I'm face to face with the Avatar's waterbender friend. I stay seated and turn my back to her.

"Zuko?" She sounds surprised. "Why did they throw you in here?" Her voice changes, anger laced with sarcasm. "Oh wait, let me guess. It's a trap so that when Aang shows up to help me you'll finally have him in your little Fire Nation clutches."

I look at her, then turn away wordlessly. I'm not in the mood to argue.

"You're a terrible person, you know that? Always following us, hunting the Avatar, trying to capture the world's last hope for peace." She pauses, obviously disgusted. "But what do you care? You're the Firelord's son. Spreading war and violence and hatred is in your blood."

That strikes a nerve. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"I don't?! How dare you! You have no idea what this war has put me through!" Her voice cracks. "Me personally!" She sits down hard on the ground, tears streaming down her face. "The Fire Nation took my mother away from me."

Now I'm surprised. She's sharing a lot of personal information. So I turn to face her. "I'm sorry. That's something we have in common."

I've caught her off-guard; I can tell by her body language. Once she catches her breath, we both stand and face each other.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you before," she says.

"It doesn't matter," I reply. And it really doesn't.

"It's just that for so long, whenever I would picture the face of the enemy, it was always your face."

"My face." Of course. I touch my scar. "I see."

"No, no. That's not what I meant."

Suddenly, I'm sharing personal information too. "It's okay. I used to think this scar marked me, the mark of the banished prince cursed to chase the Avatar forever. But lately I've realized I'm free to determine my own destiny, even if I'll never be free of my mark."

"Maybe you could be free of it."

My heart flips as I turn to face her, shocked. "What?"

"I have healing abilities."

Oh. I scoff. "It's a scar. It can't be healed."

She pulls a vial out of her pocket. "This is water from the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole. It has special properties so I've been saving it for something important. I don't know if it will work, but…" Her voice trails off as she reaches up to touch my scar.

My heart starts pounding. Maybe I can finally be free.

Then the wall blasts in and we both jump. The Avatar and Uncle are standing there when the dust settles.

"Katara!" the Avatar says as she runs to him.

Katara. That's her name. I had forgotten.

Uncle embraces me and I look over at the Avatar, who gives me a dirty look. He and Katara leave as Uncle tells me how happy he is that I'm safe. But I'm not listening, and take off after them. When I find them, they're in attack stance on either side of Azula. Something snaps in me; this is my chance. I throw a fireball, startling all three of them. Then I attack the Avatar and Azula attacks Katara.

I feel the old Zuko returning as we battle. I throw the Avatar back against the rocks and see the waterbender overpowering Azula with water-covered arms. I use a fire whip to break them apart, and Azula goes after the Avatar. So I face the waterbender.

"I thought you changed!" she says as we battle.

She looks so hurt, betrayed. I want to smile, an Azula smirk, but I can't. "I have changed."

Out of the corner of my eye, I see the Avatar fly back again, so Azula and I throw the waterbender at the wall. She stands up as the Dai Li comes to assist us. They surround her, so she bends water around herself, making her look like an octopus, and starts fighting them. I'll give her credit; that's either extremely brave or extremely stupid.

Suddenly, the ground starts rumbling and the Avatar pulls crystals around himself, making a sort of cave. Within seconds, the crystals start glowing and the Avatar breaks out, also glowing. I stand there in awe, but Azula hits him with a lightning bolt. I'm hit with a wave of water as I watch the Avatar fall. The waterbender catches the Avatar before he hits the ground and fire surrounds the Dai Li.

"Uncle!" I exclaim as he separates the Avatar from us.

He ignores me and turns to the waterbender, whose face is streaked with tears. "Go. I'll hold them off."

She nods and uses the waterfall to escape to safety. As soon as they're gone, Uncle accepts his fate.

"Foolish old man," Azula says as the Dai Li shackles him.

I can only stare. He just helped the Avatar escape. But why?


	3. Chapter 3

The next few weeks are a blur. Azula tells our father the Avatar is dead, he welcomes me back with open arms, and Uncle is put in jail. Before I know it, Father is welcoming me back as I stand with Azula over the Fire Nation.

"I thought you changed!"

I curse in my head. The water-I sigh. She was going to do me a kindness, so I'll use her name out of respect. Wait…

I jump as thunderous applause echoes below. Azula shoots me a look as Father clasps both our shoulders. My mind is racing. The water from the Spirit Oasis. Katara had said it has special properties. What if it could bring the Avatar back to life?

Later, I go into Azula's room. "Why did you tell Father that I killed the Avatar?"

"To help you win back your honor, of course." A mean smile crosses her face. "Unless you think he isn't dead."

I hesitate and Azula's smile turns into a smirk. "'Night, Zuzu."

I'm fuming as I lie in my own bed. Of course she had set me up. Azula never does anything nice.

"I thought you changed!"

This is going to be a long night. I curse Katara as I turn over and try to sleep.

* * *

It's hard adjusting to being home, to no privacy and to being waited on. Mai, a friend of Azula's, and I start dating, something that needed to happen long ago. I sit at my father's right hand during government and war meetings; I'm no longer the banished prince. I have my honor; I have everything I've ever wanted.

But something's wrong. Katara and Uncle's voices haunt my dreams. I sit through war meetings, but I really don't want to hurt anyone else. I spend every free minute with Mai, but I keep seeing Katara's hurt face. So I break down and go to see Uncle in prison. He sits with his back to me as I vent.

"I feel like there's a war going on inside me. I have my honor; that's what I've always wanted. So why does it feel wrong?"

He doesn't reply.

"Uncle, I'm so confused." I hold onto the bars of his cell. "Help me."

He still doesn't reply.

Anger surges through me. "Fine! Rot in here for all I care!"

I storm out, more angry and confused than before. Why is this happening?

* * *

The next night, I find a note in my room telling me that I need to know the truth about my great grandfather. I ask Azula casually what she knows about him, but she brushes me off, spouting the information we learned in history class. Not helpful. So I go deep underground where the former Firelords' writings are kept and find my great grandfather, Sozin. I read and read and I can't believe it. This isn't happening.

Sozin and Roku, the last Avatar, were best friends. Sozin wanted to share the Fire Nation's prosperity with the rest of the world, but Roku had told him the four nations must remain separate. Sozin ignored him and invaded the Earth Kingdom while Roku was receiving Avatar training. When Roku found out, he warned Sozin never to do it again or he would kill him. Later, Roku's island was consumed by a volcano and Sozin went to help, but realized that his plans for the Fire Nation were possible with Roku gone. So he let him die.

It ends there, and I throw the scroll down in disgust. What does that have to do with me? So I go to Uncle's jail cell and demand an explanation.

He sighs, but finally turns to look at me. "Sozin was your father's grandfather. Roku was your mother's grandfather. That is why you are so conflicted."

"I'm the great grandson of an Avatar and the man who started this war." I can't believe it.

"Yes. The good and evil battle within you. But remember, Roku was from the Fire Nation too, just like Sozin. Look how differently they turned out."

I can't speak. This is too much.

"You'll do the right thing, Prince Zuko."

I leave and spend the entire night debating my options. By morning, I know what to do.

* * *

Today is the day of Black Sun. The Avatar and his friends are supposed to invade today. I write Mai a good-bye note and go to find my father, who's hidden away in a bunker. I take a deep breath before entering. I can't believe I'm doing this.

"I have to tell you the truth," I say.

"The truth," he repeats in a mocking tone. "And you wait until the eclipse to do it."

I ignore him and begin speaking. "All I wanted was for you to love me, to accept me. I thought it was my honor that I wanted, but really, I was trying to please you." My anger is flaring; I point at him with my sword. "You, my father, who banished me just for talking out of turn. My father who challenged me, a 13-year-old boy, to an Agni Kai. How can you possibly justify a duel with a child?"

"It was to teach you respect," he replies.

"It was cruel and it was wrong."

"Then you have learned nothing."

I point with my sword, wanting to slit his throat. "No! I've learned everything, and I've had to learn it on my own. Growing up we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history, that, somehow, war was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world." The faces of Katara and the people in Ba Sing Se flash through my head. "What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness; they _hate_ us. And we deserve it. We created an era of fear in the world. We don't want the world to destroy itself; we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness."

My father starts laughing, a cruel laugh. I know where Azula got hers. "Your uncle has gotten to you, hasn't he?"

"Yes, he has. After I leave here today, I'm going to free Uncle Iroh from his prison and I'm going to beg for his forgiveness. He's the one who's been a real father to me."

He laughs again. "Oh that's just beautiful. Maybe he can pass down the ways of tea and failure."

That remark is infuriating, but I try to remain calm. "But I've come to an even more important decision. I'm going to join the Avatar. And I'm going to help him defeat you."

I've struck a nerve; I can see it. "Really. Since you're a full-blown traitor now, why wait? I have no powers; you've got your swords. Why don't you do it now?"

I want to, but I stop myself. "Because I know my own destiny. And taking you down is the Avatar's destiny." I sheath my swords and turn away. "Good-bye."

"Coward!" I hear him stand. "You think you're brave enough to face me, but you'll only do it during the eclipse. If you have any real courage, you'll stick around until the sun comes out. Don't you want to know what happened to your mother?"

I hate myself for turning around. "What happened that night?"

He smirks. "My father, Firelord Azulon, had commanded me to do the unthinkable to you, my own son. And I was going to do it, but your mother found out and swore she would protect you at any cost. She knew I wanted the throne and she proposed a plan in which I would become Firelord and your life would be spared. Your mother did vicious, treasonous things that night. She knew the consequences and accepted them. For that reason, she was put to death."

I feel a tear rolling down my cheek. "You killed her?"

My father is obviously taking great pleasure in my pain. "Yes. It is the perfect punishment for treason. Your penalty will be even more severe, however. The most painful death imaginable." He reels back and shoots electricity at me.

I react without thinking, redirecting the energy back at him. While he's stunned, I leave, heading straight for Uncle's prison. When I get there, the cell door is blown off and the guard is on the floor.

"Where's my uncle?" I demand, grabbing the guard by his collar.

"He escaped," he replies, gasping for breath.

I drop him, heading outside. In the distance I see the Avatar and his friends climbing on the sky bison, so I quickly find a Fire Nation balloon and follow them. Wow. I can't believe I'm doing this.


	4. Chapter 4

They fly to the Western Air Temple and I hide in the woods above them. After everything I've put them through, I don't even know if they'll accept me. A frog nearby croaks at me, and I jump. "What should I say to them?" I ask.

It just looks at me as I rack my brain. I imitate Uncle; I imitate Azula. Nothing helps. Finally I just suck it up and walk down to them. I freeze when I actually see them, though. "Hi, Zuko here," I eventually say. Man, that sounds dumb.

They take a defensive stance. "What are you doing here?" the Avatar demands.

"I want to help you." I raise my hands in my best non-offensive way.

"What?!" they say in unison.

"I want to help. I can teach you firebending."

I see the Avatar hesitate, but Katara steps forward. "Get lost. We don't want your help. We know this is a trick."

"It's not a trick!"

She glares at me. "We aren't stupid."

"It's not a trick!" But I'm fighting a losing battle and I know it.

"Leave, Zuko," the Avatar says. "Now."

I try to argue, but Katara douses me with water. It's so forceful that I'm knocked on my back. "You heard him!"

So I leave, hanging my head. This isn't over.

Later that night I hear rustling in the bushes. Someone's out there. I hear a voice and automatically attack. A boulder flies up in front of me, and I automatically attack again. Who_ is _that?

"Ouch!"

I look into the darkness, quickly locating the earthbender. Shoot. She's hurriedly crawling away; her feet are burned. I grab her shoulder. "Wait! Let me help you!"

"Get away from me!" She pushes me off and hurries away.

I fall back with a groan. Great. Good one, Zuko. Now they'll never accept you.

* * *

I spend the next day pacing and part of the night staring up at the full moon. Then I hear a crash from below, and Katara yell. What the- I hurry down the hill in time to see the assassin I had hired to find the Avatar attacking him and his friends. Well, this is one thing I can set right.

"I order you to stop," I say to the assassin.

He ignores me and shoots another fireball at the Avatar, narrowly missing the earthbender.

"I'll give you more money," I try again.

He pushes me off the cliff, but I manage to grab a vine and hoist myself up. I hide behind one of the pillars with the earthbender, who I pull out of harm's way.

"What are we going to do?" Katara's brother asks, clearly panicked. "He's getting closer!"

The Avatar looks up at the sky. "Katara, there's a full moon tonight!"

She looks up too. "Aang, you know how I feel about that."

"About what?" I ask. So what if it's a full moon? Her waterbending isn't stronger than the assassin's firebending.

"Katara, if you don't do it we're going to die," her brother says.

She takes a deep breath and stands. The assassin is on the same level as we are now, so I brace for impact. But none comes. His face contorts in pain; his arms go behind his head. Suddenly, he's on his knees, not attacking,

I look over at Katara, whose hands are moving. Wait. _She's_ causing this? How?

"Aang bend a piece of rock into his third eye," Katara's brother says. "It kept him from attacking last time."

Two things happen. The Avatar hits the assassin with the stone, hitting Katara's arm in the process and breaking her hold. The assassin attacks before she can regain control, backfiring and throwing himself over the cliff. We watch him fall to his death in the light of the moon. Nobody speaks for a long time.

"What was that?" I ask Katara, breaking the silence.

"Bloodbending," her brother answers.

"_Bloodbending_?!" I'm sure I heard wrong.

"Blood is water," Katara says, not looking at me.

She's more powerful than I thought she was. She can manipulate people's bodies any way she pleases. She can hurt them, torture them even. I'm impressed and terrified at the same time.

Everyone's looking at me expectantly, so I clear my throat. "I've learned a lot about fire. While it is an essential element because it means life, it is also very dangerous and needs to be respected. Without respect, it can hurt people and be very destructive." I turn to the earthbender, who I realize is blind. "I apologize for burning you. It was an accident."

The Avatar has a thoughtful look on his face. "I never wanted to learn firebending after I burned Katara, but I know if I'm careful it won't happen again."He looks me in the eye. "I think you are supposed to be my firebending teacher."

"So I can stay?" I could kick myself for sounding eager.

"I have to ask my friends first."

Great. But I nod.

He turns to the earthbender first. "Toph, you're the one he burned. What do you think?"

She shrugs, swinging her legs. "Sure."

Score. He turns to Katara's brother. "Sokka?"

He regards me cautiously. "If you think it's right, then I trust your opinion."

Two down. He turns to the last person. "Katara?"

She doesn't answer, just looks at the ground with her arms crossed.

"Katara."

She doesn't even look in my direction. "I'm agreeing only because you need a firebending teacher."

We separate to get some sleep. After awhile, I hear a noise and look up to see Katara standing in my doorway. "You might have everyone else fooled, but you and I both know what happened the last time you claimed you 'changed.'" Her air quotes are fierce. "If you do _anything_ to hurt Aang, you won't have to worry about your destiny. I will make sure your destiny ends right then and there. Permanently.

She turns and leaves, and I realize my heart is pounding. I'm angry, but also nervous. I saw what she's capable of tonight. She's probably more powerful than I am; destroying my destiny wouldn't take much effort. Great.

* * *

Aang and I start firebending training the next day. I show him different forms first, then tell him to make fire.

He looks nervous. "Can you demonstrate?"

"Sure." I take my stance to bend, but nothing happens. What…?

I try again and again, but I can only make little puffs of fire. "What is wrong with me?" I yell.

"The last one looked better," Aang says.

"Don't patronize me!"

I try more and more, but I can't. I fall to my knees with my head in my hands. This is so frustrating. I don't know what to do.

We join the others for dinner and relay the bad news. Katara snorts. "Isn't that ironic? You lose your bending now, when we need it, instead of months ago, when we wanted you to."

"Well, if I can't figure out where it went, we're in trouble," I retort, my anger spiking slightly.

Before Katara can respond, Toph speaks up. "You have to find the root of your bending."

We all look at her. "What?"

"I learned earthbending from badger moles. They're blind like me and move by feeling vibrations."

Aang smiles. "Airbenders learned from the sky bison." He looks at his sky bison. "Maybe I should take lessons from Appa."

Everyone laughs. "Firebenders learned from dragons," I say. "But they're extinct."

We eat, and I go to my room. I've been bending because of anger and rage for so long that I don't know how to do anything else. I look out into the courtyard and see Katara and Aang bending. Eventually, he leaves and she's on her own. Water swirls around her, around the pillars of the air temple, making beautiful patterns. The water turns into ice, then back into water, then she finally bends it back into the fountain.

Wow. I've never watched waterbending in a non-aggressive sense before. It's beautiful, stunning. The moves are fluid, like a dance. Now I understand Uncle's lightning redirection.

Uncle. I swallow hard. I hope he's okay.

* * *

I'm woken up by Sokka yelling. I rush to his room and see Katara bending over him. "Sokka, wake up. It's just a nightmare."

Toph and Aang are next to me as Sokka begins coming to. Without turning around, Katara says, "He's fine. Go back to bed."

Toph doesn't need to be told twice. Aang and I linger as Sokka holds onto Katara, tears streaming down his face.

"Aang, Zuko, go to bed." Her voice is firm. How did she know?

"What's wrong with him?" I ask Aang before we go into our rooms.

"He's been having nightmares since the invasion."

"Why?"

He sighs. "Because his and Katara's father died that day. He died saving some of their troops, and Katara's healing ability couldn't save him."

For some reason, I'm overcome with pity. They've lost both of their parents to the war now. I can't imagine how guilty Katara must feel.

We say good night, and I listen by the door of Sokka's room for a minute. "It's not your fault he died," I hear Katara say. "He wouldn't want you to keep blaming yourself."

"I can't help it." Sokka's voice is soft.

"You have to." I can hear what I've already identified as her mother voice. "Use that sorrow to make new plans. We're going to win this war."

"Thanks, Katara."

"Get some sleep."

I hear her stand and duck into my room. I see her wipe her face with her sleeve and turn away. Too much emotion for one night.

* * *

By morning, I know what to do about the firebending problem. Aang and I journey to the City of Sun Warriors, where the first firebenders lived. They're long gone now, but maybe we can learn from what they left behind. We stand in the middle of an elaborate temple with tons of dragon statues in various positions. I'm studying the ceiling when Aang suddenly says, "Zuko, dance with me?"

"What?" He's got to be crazy.

He motions to the statues. "Just do it."

So we do, posing like the statues until the ground starts rumbling beneath us. Great. Now what did we do? A pillar rises up from the center of the room, holding a shiny golden egg. I go over and pick the egg up, studying it.

"I don't think you should do that," Aang says.

Before I can respond, there's a loud popping sound, and Aang and I end up glued to the ceiling with sticky black goo. Aang sighs and reminds me again that I shouldn't have touched the egg. Thanks. Real helpful. Suddenly, the Sun Warriors appear above us. They scold us for trying to steal their treasure, but let us out of the goo. Aang bows respectfully. "I don't usually use this, but I'm the Avatar. I'm trying to learn firebending, so we came here to learn about the history."

The leader looks at us. "If you want to know firebending, you have to meet the masters. They will read every part of your soul. If they don't like what they see, they will destroy you on the spot!"

That makes me nervous. I can tell Aang is too. We're supposed to keep a piece of everlasting fire to present to the masters, but we both end up dropping it. As we stand back to back facing the caves of the masters, I'm terrified. What if we aren't good enough for them?

Two dragons exit the caves and fly around us. I'm suddenly taken back to Uncle saying he had killed the last dragon, ending the dragon hunting sport of the Fire Nation. An image appears in my head of Uncle receiving knowledge of the dragons, and I realize he lied to protect them. Aang and I perform the motions we learned in the temple with the dragons, and we are given knowledge. We bow to the Sun Warriors before we leave; they actually bow back.

Everyone's asleep by the time we get back to the air temple, though I hear Katara moving around in her room. She goes to talk to Aang, but I don't bother to eavesdrop. I just think about Uncle and hope he's okay.


	5. Chapter 5

A few days later, Sokka asks me where they take war prisoners in the Fire Nation. He wants to rescue some of their forces, including the Kyoshi Warriors. Apparently the Fire Nation took them on invasion day. Even though I know what he's planning, I tell him about Boiling Rock Prison. That night, I meet him trying to take the war balloon and try to talk him out of it. But he's not backing down, so we go to the prison together, dressed as guards to infiltrate it.

Within the first day, Sokka manages to find the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors, Suki. Apparently she's his girlfriend. All of the other prisoners aren't here, though.

By the second day, the guards accidentally discover who I am and throw me into an interrogation room. I sigh, looking at the floor. Great. There goes any chance of teaching Aang to firebend or seeing Uncle and Katara again.

"Well, look who it is."

I know that voice. The person speaking is trying to sound cool, detached, but the hurt is seeping through.

"You could have at least looked me in the eye when you ripped out my heart." Paper rustles. "'Dear Mai, I didn't want to do this, but I'm leaving.'"

"Stop." I don't want to hear the whole thing.

She moves to stand in front of me. "Why did you leave?"

"I never wanted you hurt you, but I have to save my nation."

She rolls her eyes. "You're betraying it."

"That's not how I see it."

We just look at each other for a few moments. I wait for that urge to hug her, to hold her, to kiss her, but it's not there. I don't feel any romantic feelings for her at all. The only thing I feel right now is pity.

Then I hear yelling from out in the courtyard and realize Sokka and Suki have started the prison riot. Mai and I are alone, so I jump up and lock her in the room. It will keep her safe. I meet up with Sokka and Suki, who have kidnapped the prison warden. We take him on the gondola with us, bound and gagged, and start riding toward freedom.

"Oh crap," Sokka says, looking back toward the prison.

I see Azula and Ty Lee gaining on us, so we all prepare to fight. Suki squares off with Ty Lee; Sokka and I face Azula. I have to save Sokka at one point and we all realize that the guards are cutting the rope holding our gondola in the air. Oh no. Azula smirks as she and Ty Lee jump to another gondola going in the opposite direction. "Good-bye."

I look over the side; if this thing falls, we aren't going to survive. Suki and Sokka grab each other's hands, worried looks on both their faces. Then Sokka squints towards the prison. "Who's that?"

I look too, and see a dark-haired girl attacking the guards. I can't believe it. It's _Mai_. But our gondola starts moving again, taking us to safety. We steal Azula's war balloon and fly back to the Western Air Temple. Katara and Aang are happy to see Suki, but Katara scolds us after we relay our story. "You could have been killed."

"I know," Sokka and I say together.

"We can't lose anyone else."

Sokka looks down. "I know."

She hugs him. "I'm glad you're okay."

* * *

The next morning, breakfast is interrupted by the arrival of Azula and several war balloons. They attack the temple nonstop, and I have to tackle Katara out of the way of a falling rock. Instead of being grateful, she tells me to get off, then goes to join the others. No big deal. I just saved your life.

Azula laughs cruelly as she sends another attack at us. "What are you doing?" I yell at her.

"Celebrating that I'm about to be an only child!" she replies, sounding more evil than usual.

We battle as I climb up onto her balloon. Lightning hits fire and causes an explosion that sends us flying. Sokka and Suki grab my arm and pull me onto Appa as Azula continues to fall. Maybe she's finally going to die. I watch as she catches onto the side of the mountain and stops falling. Darn.

I sigh as we fly in silence. Aang finally touches down on a small hidden area of an island. We set up our campsite and try to relax a little. At one point, Aang smiles. "This feels like old times."

I smile too and joke, "If you really want it to feel like old times, I could chase you around a bit."

Everyone except Katara laughs. Sokka raises his hand. "To Zuko. Who knew he would end up on our side."

Choruses of "To Zuko" go up and I say, "Thanks, everyone. I don't deserve this."

"No, you don't," Katara says, getting up and walking away.

I've had enough. I go after her and find her standing on the cliff overlooking the water. "Why are you doing this?"

Her back is to me, the ocean crashing beneath us. She doesn't answer.

"Katara."

"I was the first one to trust you!" she says, turning to face me. "I trusted you back in Ba Sing Se and you turned around and betrayed us! Betrayed _me_!"

She's right, and I sigh. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

"You can either reconquer Ba Sing Se in the name of the Earth King or bring my mother back."

There's tears in her eyes as she pushes past me and runs to her tent. That's it. I head to Sokka's tent in hopes of finding an answer. Suki is hanging around outside when I get there, but runs off. Okay… When I walk in, Sokka is lying on the mat facing away from me. There's candles lit everywhere. I open my mouth to speak, but Sokka turns around, a rose in his mouth. He spits it out when he realizes it's me. "Zuko!"

I don't even want to know. "Your sister hates me. I want to know why."

"She doesn't _hate_ you," he begins.

I just look at him. Yeah, right.

"Okay, she hates you."

"She's brought up your mother twice now, once in Ba Sing Se and once tonight. I think she's taking her anger at the Fire Nation out on me."

He looks down, obviously uncomfortable.

"What happened?"

"It's not something I like to talk about."

He tells me that he and Katara had been playing when they saw the black snow. It wasn't the first time they'd been attacked, so Katara ran to find their mother while Sokka joined the soldiers. Once the fighting ended, they discovered that their mother had been killed. The only thing he remembers about the soldiers was that the lead ship had a flag with a sea raven on it. The Southern Raiders.

"Thanks, Sokka!" Now I know what to do.

He impatiently pushes me out and I bump into Suki. Sokka takes her hand and pulls her into the tent. Now I really don't want to know.

* * *

I wait outside Katara's tent all night. I don't even know why I care so much about whether or not she likes me.

"What do you want?" Katara's annoyed voice cuts through me.

"I know who killed your mother. I can help you find him."

She looks at me for a long time. "Let's go."

We find Aang to ask to borrow Appa. "Is it your turn to take a field trip with Zuko?" he asks sarcastically.

"Yes," Katara answers. "I'm going to find the man who killed my mother."

"You want revenge." It isn't a question.

"He killed my mother."

"Katara, you sound like Jet. You want to hurt him because he hurt you? Revenge solves nothing."

"I think Aang's right," Sokka speaks up.

"Then you didn't love our mother the way I did," she says to him.

Wow. That's harsh. Sokka's jaw drops and Aang says, "Katara, you should forgive him."

"Forgiveness?" I snort. "Did you 'forgive' the people who killed the airbenders?"

"Yes."

"Forgiveness is impossible," Katara says, and walks away.

So Katara and I make plans to take Appa without Aang's permission, but he catches us. "I understand that you need to make this trip," he says. "But when you meet the man who killed your mother, I'm begging you to forgive him. Revenge is not the answer."

"Thank you, Guru Goody-Goody," I say, climbing onto Appa's back.

Katara hugs him quickly. "Thanks."

After we'd been flying for a few minutes in silence, Katara speaks. "Why did you stand up for me?"

"On the day of Black Sun, my father told me the truth about what happened to my mother. He killed her for treason."

"Why?"

I repeat the story, then say, "I had always assumed she was dead, so finding out was good closure for me. I want you to have closure too." _And stop hating me_, I add silently.

"I'm sorry about your mother," she says, seeming sincere.

"I'm sorry about your father," I reply.

She looks surprised, so I quickly explain that Aang told me. She doesn't blame Sokka for her father's death, though; she blames herself. She thinks she should have saved him because she couldn't save her mother. The raw pain in her voice makes me really sad. Katara's always so strong, so together, that it's weird to see her hurting.

"It wasn't your fault either," I say softly.

I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn't believe me, but we spot the Fire Navy base before she can say anything. We infiltrate quickly and quietly and find out that the Southern Raiders are stationed on Whaletail Island. Once we're in the air, I ask her for her side of the story of the day her mother was killed.

She looks up at the full moon, seeming to draw energy from it. The pain is written all over her face; suddenly I regret asking. But she tells me about going to find her mother when the black snow started falling, about finding her being questioned by a Fire Nation soldier in their home. Her mother had told her to go find her father, and the soldier had yelled at her, telling her to get out. Her mother had told her everything would be okay, but she was dead when she got back with her father.

I can't imagine how painful that must have been, seeing her mother senselessly killed. She's haunted by his eyes; she sees them in her nightmares. She needs this closure more than I could have ever imagined. I wonder if anyone else ever paid attention to that.

"She was a very brave woman," I say. "You inherited that quality."

"Yes, she was."

I turn away when I see a single tear roll down her cheek. I know she doesn't want me to see her cry.

When we get close to the Southern Raiders' ship, Katara sends most of the crew overboard with a massive wave. We head to the main room to the ship's captain, who shoots a fireball at us. Suddenly, his limbs are moving in the wrong direction and he lands heavily on his hands and knees.

I shudder, hoping I never have to experience bloodbending. "Do you remember her?" I shout at him.

"Who are you?" he asks.

"You stormed the South Pole! You killed all the waterbenders! I know you remember her!" I'm angrier than I thought I'd be. I want answers.

Katara faces his head up so she can look at his eyes. In less than a second, she drops him, defeated. "That's not him."

Lucky for him, because I still want to kill him, he reveals that the man who used to be in charge of the Southern Raiders, Yon Rha, retired four years ago. He also gives us his location. Katara is sitting on Appa when I return. She doesn't speak, just moves aside so I can take the reins.

It's raining when we find Yon Rha at the marketplace. We stay hidden as he begins to walk home, but he realizes we're there. He blasts the tree near us with fire, then I subdue him. "I _wouldn't_ try firebending again."

"Take my money," he says. "Just spare me."

Katara faces him. "Look at me. I know you know who I am."

He obeys and recognition sparks on his face. "You're the little Water Tribe girl."

When she demands he tell her what happened the day, I tighten my grip on his arm until he speaks. A source had told him there was one waterbender left in the South Pole, so he was given orders to kill that person. Katara's mother had told him that she was the last waterbender, so he had killed her.

Wow. I watch the rage build on Katara's face as she stops the rain all around us. "You were wrong. She was protecting the last waterbender. Me!"

She turns the rain into icicles and points them all at him. I step away, taking in Yon Rha's terrified face, then look back at Katara. The anger on her face…I know it. I know it and I know how powerful it is. If she wants to kill him, she's going to do it.

I wait breathlessly. Suddenly, the icicles turn back into water and drop to the ground. Yon Rha is still scared and pleading for his life. "Take my mother," he says. "That's a fair trade."

I can't believe what I'm hearing and obviously Katara can't either. She glares at him, her voice full of hate when she speaks. "I'd always wondered what kind of man could do such a terrible thing and now I know. You're a weak, pathetic, empty human being. I can't even bring myself to kill you."

And she walks away. We climb on Appa and fly away, leaving Yon Rha on the ground behind us. Katara doesn't move during the entire trip, aside from wordlessly bending the water out of our clothes when the rain stops. I take us to Ember Island, where my father's beach house is, because he would never think to look for the Avatar there. We'll be safe.

I leave Katara on the dock with her feet in the water, then go to get the others. Aang runs over to her as soon as we touch down, and I follow. "I'm so proud of you for choosing to forgive him!"

"I'll never forgive him," Katara says, standing up. "But I _am_ ready to forgive Zuko." And she hugs me warmly.

I'm surprised at first, but hold her close, my body relaxing immediately. My body also reacts to her closeness and I try to push those confusing feelings away when she lets go. There's no time for this.


	6. Chapter 6

Waking up in the morning marks one month until the comet comes through. Katara and I aren't automatically friends-I hadn't expected to be-but she does start treating me the same way she treats Aang, Sokka, Suki, and Toph. I'm included in the meals, for one, and she heals me after training. We spend a lot of time training. Aang is getting better at firebending, plus he is polishing his earthbending skills. He's mastered waterbending, but Katara still insists that he practice. I'm getting better too since I've been teaching Aang.

One day, I take a nasty burn to my stomach during training, one that brings me to my knees. Aang apologizes profusely as Katara helps me lie on my back. She rips what's left of my shirt and opens our container of water, bending it onto the wound. Her hands feel good as I lie there, the pain subsiding slightly. My body starts feeling warm, but I'm not sure if that's supposed to happen. I shiver and Katara stops. "You okay?"

"Yes," I say, looking up into her concerned eyes. They're a very pretty shade of blue. Not light, but not dark either. Like two pieces of turquoise.

She moves her hands back to my stomach, checking my wound. She bends more water and spends a bit more time healing. Finally, she looks satisfied. "How do you feel?"

"Better," I reply. "The pain is gone."

"Good."

She helps me sit up, then helps me stand. I decide to stay with her while she cooks dinner. Suki and Sokka are nowhere to be seen; Aang and Toph are down at the beach. I hand Katara the ingredients and watch her bend the mixture to stir it.

"Do you ever get tired of taking care of us?" I ask.

She smiles. "I'm used to it."

"That's not an answer."

"Sometimes I wish somebody else would step up; I won't lie about that. But I enjoy taking care of all of you. Helping people is what I'm good at."

"I appreciate everything you do."

She smiles again. "Thanks, Zuko."

When we all lie down to sleep that night, I can still feel the pleasant sensation of Katara's hands on my body. I dream about holding her, kissing her. I have to sigh when I wake up. We really don't have time for this.

* * *

About a week before the comet, I'm having trouble sleeping. I keep having nightmares about Azula killing me; I almost feel like she's haunting me. So I head out to sit on the beach, looking for calm in the moon and the ocean. Funny when I think about it, since I'm a firebender.

"Another nightmare?"

I automatically smile when I hear Katara's voice. We've gotten closer over the past few weeks and I'm beginning to consider her one of the best friends I've ever had. I've come to depend on her being there.

"Azula keeps trying to kill me."

She pats the spot next to her. "I'm nervous too."

"I'm worried because she was so much crazier the last time we fought. She didn't seem like she was in control."

"She's probably feeling a little unstable."

I look at her, confused. "Why?"

"Well, Mai betrayed her when she helped you, Sokka, and Suki escape at Boiling Rock. Azula probably put her in prison for it."

I hadn't thought of that. "Mai was my girlfriend back in the Fire Nation. I broke up with her before I left to join the Avatar."

Katara doesn't look surprised. "Are you going to go back to her when the war's over?"

I study the ground for a minute, running my fingers through the sand as I gather my thoughts. "I don't know. When she was asking me why I left at Boiling Rock, I felt horrible for hurting her. I didn't feel the urge to be close to her, though. No hug or kiss or anything romantic."

"Really?" She's studying my face. She can read me almost as well as Toph can now.

"Honestly?"

She nods.

"The entire time I was with her I could never focus on just her. I kept seeing Uncle's face, your face, and kept thinking about my betrayal." I sigh, running my hand over my head. "I think I may have used her because she cared about me when nobody else did." I sigh again, looking out at the ocean. "I wish I could apologize."

"I'm sure you'll get the chance." And she does sound sure.

"I hope so."

Silence falls and Katara looks up at the sky. "Whenever I have a problem, I talk to the moon. I like it here, being able to feel such a strong connection with the moon and the ocean. I guess it's because I'm a waterbender."

"I don't know," I say, happy for the topic change. "I'm a firebender and I feel the power of the sun, but I don't exactly feel connected to it."

She laughs. "Maybe it's because I know the Moon Spirit personally."

"What?" That sounds crazy.

"When we were at the North Pole, we met Princess Yue, who was only alive because the Moon Spirit intervened when she was critically ill at birth. When Commander Zhao killed the Moon Spirit in the Spirit Oasis, Princess Yue gave her life to heal it and became the new Moon Spirit."

"That's the girl Sokka fell in love with, right?"

She smiles. "Yes."

"I think he still loves her."

"So do I."

I glance up at the moon, then at Katara. "I never got to thank you for saving my life that day."

"You saved me from getting crushed by rocks at the Western Air Temple," she counters.

"And you saved all of us from getting killed by the assassin."

She shrugs. "I guess it's your turn to save me."

I shiver when she says that. I don't _want_ to be put in that situation. "I hope I don't have to."

Katara looks up at the moon again. "Me too."


	7. Chapter 7

They're all being lazy. The comet is three days away and Aang needs more training and they're all lounging around. I look down at the beach where Katara is surfing, Suki is lying on a towel, and Sokka and Aang are building sand sculptures, which Toph keeps knocking down. Anger boils inside me and I send a fireball at Aang.

"What are you doing?" he yells.

"Teaching you a lesson!" I yell back.

I continue chasing him, finally cornering him in one of the upper rooms. He faces me, looking furious. "That's _enough_!" And he propels me through the window with airbending.

"What is wrong with you?" Katara demands, standing over me.

I roll over and push myself up, anger still simmering. "The comet is three days away! Aang needs to be ready to fight the Firelord by then!"

They exchange glances. "I wasn't planning to fight the Firelord until after the comet goes through," Aang says.

"What?" I ask, the last of my anger giving way to confusion.

"I'm not ready," he says. "If I go in now, I probably won't win."

"The Fire Nation pretty much won the war when it took Ba Sing Se," Katara adds. "It can't get worse."

I sigh. "You're wrong. It's going to get much worse."

And I tell them about the war meeting I sat in on before the day of the eclipse. About my father complaining that the Earth Kingdom rebellion was keeping them from taking all of Ba Sing Se and asking me if I thought adding troops would help. About my telling them that as long as the rebellion had hope, they would fight. About Azula wanting to "burn their precious hope," which gave my father the idea of using the comet's power to wipe out the Earth Kingdom the way Sozin did with the Air Nomads. About my father's delusion that he will be ruler of the world.

Suki's eyes are wide and both Aang and Sokka are shaking their heads in disbelief when I finish my story. Toph, I can't read. Katara's looking at me and I recognize the fear in her eyes. I feel it too.

When nobody speaks, I say, "I'm ashamed of myself for not speaking out, but I didn't know what to do." I meet Aang's eyes. "If you don't fight the Firelord before the comet, there won't be a world to save."

Everyone takes that realization differently. There's silence for a few moments before Aang speaks, "Looks like I'll be training nonstop so I'll be ready."

"We'll be with you," Sokka says, his hand on Aang's shoulder.

"You won't be alone," Katara adds.

They join together in a group hug while I stand awkwardly off to the side. Katara smiles and beckons me to join them; as part of the group I'm required to participate in group hugs. So I smile and take my place between Toph and Suki, across from Katara. She smiles again, and I reflect on how weird it still is to be part of the group. It's a good weird, though.

* * *

There's still plenty of time left in the day, so I decide to teach Aang how to redirect lightning. His eyes widen. "It looks like waterbending!"

"My uncle learned the technique from studying waterbenders." I feel a pang when I remember his disappointed face.

But I'm distracted from my thoughts by the arrival of Sokka holding a branch with a melon on top of it. "Behold the Melon Lord!" he says dramatically.

We all just look at him.

Sokka explains that the Melon Lord is our practice Firelord. Toph is going to be the Melon Lord's army; the rest of us will be against them. Toph is really excited at the prospect of throwing flaming rocks at us. I have a feeling we might have to do a lot of healing after this.

Katara and I sneak up the mountain from one side; Sokka and Suki sneak from the other. Toph's attacks barely miss us several times, so Sokka yells at her to calm down. Eventually, Aang makes it to the top brandishing his glider. Then he stops.

"Finish him!" Sokka yells.

But Aang just stands there. So we walk up the hill to join him. Sokka is furious. "What's wrong with you? If that had been the Firelord, you would have been full of electricity by now!"

"I didn't feel like myself," Aang says.

Sokka takes his sword and slices the Melon Lord's head. The two halves fall at Aang's feet, but he still doesn't speak. Something's wrong.

During dinner, we're discussing how evil the Firelord is and how much we want to destroy him. It doesn't bother me, even though he's my father. He's killed so many innocent people. Aang, who's been sitting off to the side, speaks up, "He's still a human being."

"Are you defending him?" Sokka sounds shocked.

"No! I just think we should find a way to defeat him without taking his life."

"There is no other way," I say.

"There has to be," Aang says.

"You need to get it together," Sokka says. "This is the fate of the world we're talking about."

"Sokka!" Katara admonishes.

"Don't you think I know that?" Aang yells. "You don't understand!" With that, he storms off.

Katara starts to go after him, but I put my hand on her shoulder to stop her. "Give him space."

She sighs, but agrees.

Sokka and Suki head off to parts unknown and Toph lies down to sleep. That leaves Katara and me to walk down to the beach and sit on the rocks. She closes her eyes and I watch her body relax instantly. I sometimes wish I had the same connection with the sun that she does with the moon and the ocean.

"I'm worried about Aang," she says, breaking me from my thoughts.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one," I reply.

"Do you think he's going to be ready?"

"He kind of has to be."

She sighs. "I know that. But do you think he _will_ be?"

I look over at her, taking in the worry on her face. "I think he will."

After she leaves, I think about all the terrible things I said to Uncle. The guilt is beginning to eat me alive. Katara and I have talked about it before because she knows what guilt feels like, but I still don't believe her when she says he's forgiven me.

* * *

Then we realize Aang is missing. Panic ensues. We split up to search for him, and I somehow end up with Toph. She had claimed she wanted to go on "a life-changing field trip" with me because everyone else had gotten to. We end up talking about Uncle and she assures me he's not mad at me; she had spent an entire day listening to him talk about me and how he wanted me to find my own way, so she would know. That only makes me feel a little bit better.

When we reach the house, nobody looks happy. Since I'm the "expert" on tracking Aang, I quickly decide we need to find June. I fly Appa toward the Earth Kingdom to find the bounty hunter I had used to track Aang with Katara's necklace. Sokka recognizes her as soon as we walk into the tavern. "Isn't that-"

"Yes," I reply, walking over to her table.

She's drinking a glass of dark liquid and smirks when she sees me. "Where's your creepy grandpa?"

My heartbeat picks up, but I try to remain calm. "He's my Uncle. And he's not here."

Her eyes land on Katara. "I see you worked things out with your girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!" I yell at the same time Katara yells, "I'm not his girlfriend!"

June rolls her eyes. "Calm down, I was only teasing. What do you want?"

I explain the situation and we give her tracker, Nyla, Aang's staff to get his scent. Nyla walks in circles for a while, then lies down with her paws over her nose. June explains that that means Aang's gone, that he doesn't exist. Not that he's dead; if he was dead, we'd be able to find his body.

Everyone's silent for a moment, then I have an idea. There's only one other person who can help us defeat the Firelord, so I give Nyla Uncle's old sandal to smell. Almost immediately, she and June take off. The rest of us jump on Appa to follow them. We're silent as we travel across the Earth Kingdom, finally coming to a stop in front of the walls of Ba Sing Se.

June leaves and the rest of us stare disbelievingly up at the walls. How did Uncle end up back here? Suddenly, we're surrounded by a ring of fire and four men.

"Why are we surrounded by old people?" Toph asks.

Katara gasps. "These are great masters and friends of ours." She bows to one of the men, who she calls "Master Pakku."

He smiles. "It's respectful to bow to an old master, but how about a hug for your new grandfather?"

She hugs him, smiling. "I'm sure you and Gran-Gran are so happy!"

"I made her a new betrothal necklace and everything."

Sokka runs over to hug him too. "Welcome to the family, Gramp-Gramp!"

"You can call me Pakku."

"How about Grand-Pakku?"

I almost start laughing at the look on Pakku's face. "No," he says.

Katara introduces Jeong-Jeong, Aang's first firebending teacher, and I recognize Bumi, the crazy king from Omashu. Then Sokka introduces the man who taught him swordplay, Piandou. Apparently they're all members of the Order of the White Lotus, a society that Uncle is the head of. Uncle had called them together last month.

We follow them to their camp, and Piandu takes me to Uncle's tent. I stop before entering, dropping to my knees. What if he doesn't forgive me?

Katara kneels beside me and wordlessly puts her hand on my forearm, letting me know she's there. I feel the warmth of her fingertips spread through my body, giving me the courage to stand and enter Uncle's tent. His back is to me, so I sit behind him and take a deep breath.

"Uncle, I'm sure you hate me, but I've traveled all this way to say I'm-" My throat closes. "I'm sorry. I don't deserve your forgiveness because I hurt and betrayed you and I know you're angry with me-" My voice breaks. "I'm sorry. I'm so-"

Uncle cuts me off before I can say the third "sorry," hugging me tightly. He's crying too. "I was never angry with you. I was sad that you had lost your way."

"I did lose my way. But I found it again."

"And you did it by yourself. I'm so happy and proud of you. And I'm so glad you found your way here."

I smile. "It was easy. You have a pretty strong scent."

We spend some of the night talking and catching up, then fall asleep. It's my first uninterrupted night of sleep in weeks.


	8. Chapter 8

At breakfast, we discuss the war. Not having Aang has thrown a wrench into our original plan, so I attempt to put a new one into place. "Uncle, you are the only person who can defeat the Firelord."

But he shakes his head. "The only way for the war to end peacefully is for the Avatar to defeat the Firelord. If I do it, it will just be a brother killing his brother for the throne."

Okay, so I hadn't thought of that. I try again. "Will you take the throne after the war?"

"The man on the throne has to be an idealist with a pure heart and unquestionable honor. It has to be you."

Shock hits me hard. What? Me? "But I've made so many mistakes."

Uncle smiles. "But you made your own path. You restored your honor."

I look across the circle at Katara, who smiles encouragingly. "I'll try, Uncle."

"What if Aang doesn't come back?" Toph asks, voicing the worry on everyone's mind.

Uncle squares his shoulders. "Destiny is upon us. Aang will face the Firelord. When I was a boy, I had a vision of taking Ba Sing Se. Now I realize I need to take it back."

We're each given orders. Uncle and the members of the White Lotus will take back Ba Sing Se. I'm to go to the Fire Nation to be there to take the throne when the Firelord falls, but I'll have to beat Azula first. When he tells me to take someone with me, I choose Katara. That leaves Sokka, Suki, and Toph to take out the airship fleet.

Everyone says good luck and good-bye before we go our separate ways. I take a long look at our friends. Underneath their smiles, I see the same worry I feel now. This may be the last time we see each other.

"Don't think like that," Katara says softly as we fly upward.

"I can't help it," I reply.

We fly in silence for a while, both lost in thought. Toph is going to be in the air; I know how much she hates flying, not having ground beneath her feet. But I guess metal airships are different than Appa's fur. I hope. Aang is going to be fighting my father…will he be strong enough? Will he even come back in time? Or will my father make good on his threat to destroy the Earth Kingdom? And Katara… I look over at her running her fingers through Appa's fur. Her face isn't betraying any emotions, but she's got to be scared. The last time we fought Azula, she killed Aang.

As the Fire Nation comes into view, Katara squeezes my hand. I squeeze back, looking into her beautiful blue eyes and memorizing her, just in case. There's a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't shake.

We land just as Azula is about to be crowned Firelord. I jump down off of Appa and face her. "Sorry, but you're not going to become Firelord today. I am."

Azula laughs her evil laugh, but she isn't herself. Her usually perfect hair is a mess and there's a strange look in her eyes. That's weird. "You're hilarious."

Katara jumps down next to me. "And you're going down."

Azula looks back and forth between us, then looks at me. "Fine. I challenge you to an Agni Kai!"

I don't even hesitate. "Accepted."

"What are you doing?" Katara whispers urgently, fear in her eyes as she looks at me. "She knows she can't fight both of us, so she's trying to separate us."

"I know," I reply, my voice low, trying to reassure her. "But something's off about Azula. I think I can take her."

"Zuko…"

"I don't want anyone else to get hurt." _Especially you_, I think.

She still looks concerned, but nods.

Azula and I face each other, and she smirks. "I'm so sorry it has to end this way, brother."

"No, you aren't," I reply.

We attack simultaneously, blue fire meeting red fire and exploding in smoke. The battle goes back and forth for ages, her attacking and me defending, and vice versa. Azula actually _isn't _kicking my butt for a change, which should be my first clue that something bad is going to happen. But I'm using her recklessness to my advantage, to the point where I get a little cocky. "Where's the lightning? Afraid I'll redirect it?"

Azula glares at me, taking the bait, and forms lightning on her fingers. She points at me and I ready myself. This will be over soon. At the last minute, she points past me at Katara and shoots.

"Noooo!" I yell, automatically jumping in front of her and trying to redirect it. I can't let her kill Katara. I need Katara.

The lightning hits me in the chest and I hear Katara yell my name. I see more lighting fly over my head as the world starts spinning, my chest exploding in pain. _Please let Katara be okay_. _Please let Katara be okay. Please…_ Then the world goes black.

* * *

_White light surrounds me as I open my eyes and see a blurry dark-haired figure. "Katara?" _

_The figure laughs and comes into focus. Wait, I know that laugh. "Mother?!" I say, shocked. _

"_Hello, Zuko."_

_How am I seeing my mother? Am I…"Am I dead?" _

"_Not exactly. You're currently between the worlds."_

_What does that mean, 'between worlds'? "What do I do now?"_

"_That's up to you." _

_I'm not happy with that cryptic answer, but I'll allow it for now. My mother looks the same as she did the last day I saw her. Beautiful, soft features, full of love. I could stay here with her forever. _

"_Father killed you," I finally say. _

"_Yes," Mother replies, then reads my mind. "I do not regret what I did."_

_I nod, then feel a pang in my chest. Tightness, pain. Katara… I can't leave yet. I have unfinished business to go back to. If Azula killed Katara…I won't rest until I kill her too. So I look at my mother. "How do I go back?"_

_She smiles. "Your waterbender friend is trying to heal you as we speak."_

_Katara. I smile too. She's okay. She's alive. "Will she be successful?"_

"_If you want her to be."_

_Another cryptic answer, but I don't even need to weigh my options. "I need to be the Firelord. I need to restore the honor of the Fire Nation."_

_She seems to approve. "I'm proud of you, Zuko. For everything." _

_I feel my throat close, tears forming in my eyes. So much pain. My mother's smiling face. _

_And the world goes black again. _


	9. Chapter 9

"Zuko!" I hear faintly. "Come on, Zuko!"

I open my eyes and Katara's blurry face comes into view. Then I realize she's crying. I reach up to touch her cheek, which makes her smile. "I thought I'd lost you."

"Thank you for saving me," I say, dull pain still throbbing in my chest.

"I should be thanking you."

She helps me stand and I look over at Azula, who's chained to a grate. She shoots lightning from her mouth, then begins crying and pulling against her bonds. Watching my sister break down physically hurts; she's always been so strong. I don't understand how this happened.

"Think of a three-legged stool," Katara says softly while we wait for the others. "Azula built her foundation on three things: the fear she inflicted on Mai and Ty Lee, being the princess of the Fire Nation, and her mastery of firebending. When Mai and Ty Lee betrayed her, she lost one of those foundations. How steady is a two-legged stool?"

She couldn't have explained it better. It doesn't make it any less sad, though.

The others don't arrive until after dark. Aang walks over to Azula, who attempts to shoot lightning at him from her mouth. He can't get near her, so Katara uses the full moon and her bloodbending to twist Azula's body in such a way that she can't move. I've seen her bloodbend twice now, but it still makes me cringe. I can't imagine how much that hurts. I don't _want_ to imagine how much that hurts.

Aang puts one of his thumbs on Azula's forehead and the other on her chest, creating a glowing aura around them. He unchains her as the aura fades, and I leap forward to grab her. What is he doing?! She's going to kill us! But when she tries to bend, nothing happens. "What did you do?" she yells, her voice full of panic.

"I took away your bending," Aang replies. "You will never bring devastation with it again."

_Took away her bending?_ Wow... I just…wow. Azula starts yelling unintelligibly until the Fire Nation guards come to take her away. Katara touches my arm, letting me know she's there, and we all head inside. I don't know what I'd do without a friend on my side.

The dinner table is fun. Katara, Sokka, Suki, Mai, Ty Lee, the Kyoshi Warriors, Uncle, and the members of the White Lotus exchange war stories. We ask Aang to tell his first because he had been missing the longest, and he had faced the Firelord.

He had gone into the Avatar State and called on the previous Avatars for help. Roku had told him to be decisive, Kyoshi told him "only justice will lead to peace," and Koruk told him he had to shape his destiny and the destiny of the world. Aang couldn't accept that, though, and had called on the last airbending Avatar in hopes that she would agree with him that life is sacred. But he was disappointed because she told him he had to sacrifice his own spiritual needs to protect the world. During his battle against the Firelord, he was losing badly until the Firelord slammed him against a rock and unleashed his Avatar State. The battle had been easy after that. But he hadn't killed the Firelord; he had taken the advice of a lion turtle instead.

"You _talked_ to a _lion turtle_?" Sokka laughs. "What did it say?"

"'A true mind can weather all the lies and illusions without being lost,'" Aang quotes. "'A true heart can tough the voice of hatred without being harmed. Since the beginning of time, darkness thrives in the void, but also yields to purifying light.'"

That sinks in for a moment, then Aang tells us that he had used a form of energybending to take away the Firelord's bending. He had done the same with Azula, and they're both in prison. I had never thought anyone would have the power to take someone's bending away completely. That's scary.

Then Sokka, Toph, and Suki relay the story of the airships. Toph, who had invented metalbending, was using her new technique to throw the crew into the ocean and take over one of the ships. Sokka had the brilliant idea of running their stolen ship over the tops of the other ships to pop the balloons, but they almost got killed in the process. Suki saved them, though, and they took down all the ships.

Uncle and the members of the White Lotus talk about how they took back Ba Sing Se and Katara and I tell our story before the conversation shifts to post-war plans. Uncle talks about the new Jasmine Dragon he's opening in the Fire Nation, Toph wants to establish an earthbending academy, Ty Lee has joined the Kyoshi Warriors, Sokka is going back to Kyoshi Island with Suki, and Aang is rebuilding the air temples. I think I'm the only one who notices that Mai and Katara haven't said anything. Which sucks, because they're the ones whose plans I care about most.

After dinner, Mai pulls me aside. Before she can say anything, I ask her the question that's been bothering me since Boiling Rock. "Why did you betray Azula and save Sokka, Suki, and me?"

"I hated you, but I didn't want to watch you die."

That makes sense. "Thank you."

She looks down. "I don't hate you anymore. I don't think I ever really did. I was just so _angry _with you."

"I'm so sorry. For everything."

"I still love you." Mai's eyes meet mine and her voice is full of emotion for once, not her usual flat monotone. "I still want to be with you, if you'll have me."

I look into her dark brown eyes and find myself wishing they were blue. "Mai, I'm sorry, but I don't feel the same way."

She glances to the side where Katara and Aang seem to be having a serious conversation. "It's because of her, isn't it?"

I nod wordlessly. There's no use denying it now.

She sighs. "I should have known."

"I'm really sorry." I don't know what else to say.

"Good luck." Then she walks away.

I look over at Katara and Aang again. They're too close, heads bent together, voices low. I really hope she's not telling him she feels the same way about him; I don't think I could take losing her like that. Yeah, I'm probably going to need all the luck I can get.

* * *

I'm surprised by the size of the scar on my chest the next morning. It's in the shape of a poorly drawn circle and a little smaller than my fist. I replay the events that led up to that moment as I struggle with my ceremonial robe. Azula's cold eyes. A flash of lightning. Katara could have _died_.

"Do you need some help?" a female voice asks.

Speaking of… "Yes, please."

Katara guides my arm gently into the sleeve and fixes the collar. She also fixes my hair, pulling it into the traditional style. "There."

"Thank you," I say.

She must sense my nervousness because she says, "You're going to be a great Firelord."

"I hope so."

After she leaves, I go to meet Aang. I still can't believe it's been a year since I met him. So much has changed. We stand over the Fire Nation together as I get crowned and receive loud applause. Then I begin my speech.

"Today the war is finally over. I promised my uncle that I would restore the honor of the Fire Nation and I will. The road ahead of us is challenging. A hundred years of fighting has left the world scarred and divided, but with the Avatar's help we can get it back on the right path and begin a new era of love and peace."

The applause is loud and I scan the crowd, searching for Uncle and Katara. They're next to each other, of course. They both look proud; Uncle is even wiping away a tear. Who would have thought that their opinions would be the ones that mattered most?

Before attending the festivities I go to see Azula and my father in prison. Azula won't speak; she won't even look at me. Not surprising. So I move to my father's cell. His voice is full of sarcasm when he speaks, "I should count myself lucky that the new Firelord has graced me with his presence."

"You should count yourself lucky that the Avatar spared your life," I retort.

He snorts, but says nothing.

"Banishing me was the best thing you ever did for my life. You put me on the right path. Perhaps your time in here can do the same for you."

"You will never be a great Firelord."

"We'll see about that." And I walk away. He can't hurt me anymore.

Later, once everyone is tired of celebrating, I ask Katara to take a walk with me. The others are leaving tomorrow, so I need to learn her plans. She looks a bit nervous when we step outside the palace walls, but follows me in silence up the hill, gasping when he reach the top. I watch her as she takes in the colorful flowers, the wooden benches, the stone fountain. She finally turns to me, "Zuko, this is beautiful!"

"My mother created this place," I say proudly.

"I didn't know a place so beautiful existed in the Fire Nation."

"Only Uncle and I know. And now you."

Katara looks surprised. "Not Mai?"

I sit on one of the benches and motion for her to join me, which she does. "No, not Mai."

She doesn't ask why, which surprises me, but maybe she already knows. We sit in silence for a few minutes. I need to gather my thoughts and Katara is bending water from the fountain onto the flowers.

"What are your plans for the future?" I finally ask, trying to keep my voice from shaking. "Are you leaving with everyone tomorrow?"

She stops bending and sighs. "I'm not sure. I had planned to go back to the South Pole and take care of Gran-Gran, but she has Master Pakku now." She looks up at the sky, blinking rapidly. "I'm not sure what to do."

So I tell her my proposal. I'm adding a position to my council: Foreign Ambassador. The ambassador will make sure our dealings benefit the Fire Nation as well as the world, keep in touch with various nations as we produce proper aid, and other things of that nature. I want her in the position because she knows and is on good terms with people in all the nations. She also knows how to diffuse tension better than anyone I've ever met.

When Katara accepts the position on the spot, I feel like cheering on the inside. I try to remain calm as I reach my hand out for her to shake, sealing the deal. Sparks shoot through my body when her hand touches mine, and I have such a strong urge to kiss her it hurts.

I settle for holding her hand as we walk down the hill, under the pretense that I don't want her to slip. We say good night and I head straight to Uncle's room. He's moving tiles around on his Pi Shou board.

"Hello, Nephew," he says, gesturing to the chair across from him. "Pour yourself a cup of tea."

"Katara has agreed to be the Fire Nation ambassador," I say, taking the chair but not the tea. "She's going to stay."

"That's excellent news." He lays a tile in the center. "Did you tell her the other reason you want her to stay?"

I feel my face heat up. "I'm the Firelord. My duty is to my nation. I cannot allow myself to be distracted by personal matters."

Uncle looks up with an odd smile on his face. "You'll soon learn that ignoring things does not make them go away."

Like I don't know that. "Uncle, please. This is difficult enough."

"What's difficult?"

"Katara belongs with Aang, not me." I feel my throat close.

"If Katara belonged with Aang, she would be leaving with him tomorrow."

"She still could."

Uncle pats my hand. "She won't. Her heart is here."

"What do you mean?"

But he just returns to his Pi Shou board. "I would reconsider your decision to hide your feelings."

"But-"

"Good night, Nephew."

I sigh. Crazy old man. "Good night, Uncle."


	10. Chapter 10

Katara must have informed everyone of her plans last night because nobody seems surprised that she's staying behind. Ty Lee and Suki say their good-byes quickly and stand aside so Sokka, Aang, and Toph can have more time. Sokka shakes my hand, then hugs Katara tightly. I hear them whispering to each other, but I can't make out any words. Aang is next. He shakes my hand and wishes me luck, then hugs Katara for a long time. I can't make out any of their conversation either, which is infuriating.

The biggest surprise is Toph. When she moves to hug Katara, a tear rolls down her cheek. Katara looks startled as she bends down to Toph's level and hugs her. Toph's shoulders are shaking and I hear her say, "You were so annoying, but I actually started thinking of you as a big sister."

"I thought of you as a little sister."

"I love you."

Katara looks shocked, but hugs Toph a little more tightly. "I love you too."

They pull away and Toph quickly wipes her face before pointing at us. "If you ever mention that again, I'll earthbend you into the next century. I swear it."

I'm trying not to laugh at the serious look on her face, and I can tell the others are too. But we agree as they climb on Appa. Katara runs her hands through his fur and he licks her before they fly away. Her tears don't start falling until they're out of view. I put my hand on her shoulder, wordlessly letting her know I'm there the same way she does for me. When she regains control, we head back to the palace.

We spend the rest of the day in meetings. I introduce Katara to the rest of my council and defend my decision to appoint her. Part of the problem they have is that she's a young girl, which I can sort of understand. Once they hear that she's one of the people who helped end the war, that she was the Avatar's waterbending teacher, and that she's traveled all over the world, they apologize. Good. Now we won't have problems.

Katara stands to give a report about the current state of the nations. "Obviously the Fire Nation itself is in pretty good condition because most of the fighting occurred elsewhere. The North Pole is intact because Commander Zhao had issues breaking through, but three of air temples are mostly destroyed. The South Pole is completely decimated due to multiple raids, and most of the Earth Kingdom has been burnt and/or destroyed."

"Have we done anything with aid?" Hirokazu asks.

She nods. "When King Bumi and Master Pakku left, they took aid for the Earth Kingdom and the South Pole, respectively. Master Pakku is going to take waterbenders from the North Pole to the South Pole to help rebuild because the South Pole has no waterbenders left."

"That's impossible," Kazuo interrupts. "_No_ waterbenders?"

Wrong thing to say, especially in such an incredulous tone. I see Katara's fist clench, but her voice is calm. "The Southern Raiders killed every waterbender at the South Pole except for me."

She allows the statistic to sink in before continuing. The councilmen, for the most part, look either slightly embarrassed or shocked, except Kazuo, who looks annoyed. "The Avatar took food with him, but hasn't asked for any other form of aid at this time. King Bumi and Master Pakku will also be in touch if they need anything else."

We move on to other topics, such as ways to fix the areas of the Fire Nation that were attacked. We also propose ideas for a peaceful future where the four nations are separate but friendly. That's going to be more difficult.

I'm happy when Katara and I can leave and have dinner with Uncle. She asks if there are any nice places in the city where she can live, but we inform her of our plan to keep her here. I'm going to renovate my old room for her to live in because I have the Firelord's bedroom now. Katara can easily stay in Azula's room until we finish the renovations. I'm really happy when she agrees.

* * *

Katara and I spend the next two days in meetings and helping Uncle set up his tea shop. I also show Katara her new room, which she loves. The walls and carpet are still Fire Nation red, but the bedding and wall hangings are Water Tribe blue. The best of both worlds.

On Saturday, I spend the day with Uncle putting the finishing touches on the new Jasmine Dragon while Katara spends the day at the Fire Nation Hospital healing people with war injuries. The head of the hospital had asked for her help and she had happily obliged. She really does love helping people.

Finally, on Sunday, the Jasmine Dragon opens. Katara and I spend the day with Uncle in the busy shop with Katara serving tables and me making tea in the back. I watch Uncle and Katara when I'm not working and smile at how similar they are. They're both laughing and talking with customers and the light is hitting Katara in a way that makes her glow. They exchange jokes and stories while we clean tables and sweep the floor, and I'm happy they're getting along so well. He even tells her to leave out the "General" and just call him "Iroh."

The urge to kiss her comes back as we say good night before going into our separate rooms. It's crazy; we don't even touch each other and it's still there. I need to work harder to push it away.

* * *

Katara and I decide to train together to stay in shape and keep our bending sharp, so we're up early the next day. I had just blocked a well-thrown icicle when the Fire Nation prison warden comes over. He bows. "Firelord, I'm terribly sorry to interrupt you."

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Firelord, it appears Princess Azula has taken her life."

_What?!_ "Take us to her immediately."

We go to her cell and are greeted by the sight of her on the floor with a loosened bedsheet around her neck. She's so pale, almost grey. Her eyes are closed and her neck is obviously broken. I ignore the warden's assurances that they cut her down immediately and found me as soon as they found her and as Katara kneels down beside Azula. She takes her pulse, then puts her head near her chest and mouth. I don't know how she can deal with being so close to her body. I feel sick

"Can you do anything?" I ask when she puts her hands on Azula's chest above her heart.

Katara shakes her head. "Her life force is gone. I can feel nothing."

So I turn to the guards and give them orders to remove Azula's body to the family morgue to be prepared for burial. I also give one of my servants orders to cancel my meetings for the day and another to bring Uncle home from his shop. While Katara and I wait in the courtyard for Uncle, my feelings of confusion overwhelm me. "Why would she kill herself?"

"Do you remember my analogy of the three-legged stool?"

I nod.

"Azula was already unbalanced because of Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal. Then, when you and she fought the Agni Kai, she lost. She was supposed to be Firelord and you took that away from her. Second leg gone." She makes a chopping motion with her hand.

I nod again. "And the third?"

"Azula's firebending was the last thing she had to be proud of. When Aang took that away, she had literally lost everything."

"And she couldn't handle it."

Now Katara nods. "That is my belief."

"I think your hypothesis is probably true," Uncle says from behind us. "Azula seemed strong, but she cracked under pressure." He shakes his head. "It's a shame."

We make arrangements for the funeral, a small burial with only Uncle, Katara, my father, and I in attendance. I feel as though I'm moving on automatic. I'm not sorry that Azula's gone. But she's my sister. But she treated me horrendously for my entire life. But she's still my sister.

I shake my head. I don't know what to think.

* * *

I stand between Uncle and Katara at the burial site, with my father across from us. Each of his arms is being held by a guard and tears are falling in rivers down his face. He's quiet until Azula's casket is in the ground. Then he starts yelling. "This is all your fault!" He points at Katara and me. "If you hadn't ganged up on her and defeated her, we wouldn't be in this situation! We all know she was too powerful for either of you to handle alone!"

Neither of us speak, keeping our gazes on the dirt slowly filling the hole.

He turns to Katara. "You may think you're special because you're the Avatar's friend, but you're really just a pathetic orphan who can move water. Like that's a useful element. Female waterbenders shouldn't be able to fight; you're all pathetic, worthless scum!"

She looks at him and says nothing, but I'm furious. "Leave her alone!"

My father turns his glare on me. "And you! You'll never be a great leader. You're weak and worthless, just like your mother. I should have let my father kill you. No, I should have killed you myself when you were a boy!"

"Enough!" Katara yells at the same time I say, "Guards, take him back to his cell!"

My father spits in my direction. "You are not my son. My only child is dead and it's all your fault."

The guards drag him away, still yelling, and I feel Katara's hand on my arm. Emotion boils inside me and I shove her hand away before taking off. I run up to my mother's garden, stopping only to sit on the edge of the fountain and gasp for air. Something inside me snaps, and suddenly I'm crying.

I don't even know why I'm crying. For Azula? Because of my father? For my mother? For me? All I know is I can't stop.

Eventually I feel arms around my shoulders and see Katara sit next to me. Her face is concerned, but I want none of it. "Go away!" I yell through my tears. "Leave me alone!"

But she only holds on more tightly. My arms wrap around her waist without my permission, pulling her closer. "Go away," I mumble, my face buried in her neck. "Leave me alone."

"I'm not leaving you," she says softly. "I'll never leave you."

With that, I give into tears again. Katara just stays there, strong, running her fingers through my hair. When I stop crying, she brushes my tears away with her thumb, then traces my scar with her finger. I close my eyes, realizing that Katara is the only person I've ever allowed to touch my scar. I wouldn't even let Mai do it when she was my girlfriend.

Finally, I open my eyes and apologize for breaking down. I still don't even know why I did. She just removes her hand from my face wordlessly. But her eyes are kind and I know she understands. I think she knows I appreciate her always being there too. I can't bring myself to say it aloud.

We don't talk as I escort Katara back to her room, comfortable with the silence. I lie in bed for hours, my own hand tracing my scar, tracing it the way she had. My hand is still on my cheek when I finally fall asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

The following day I receive word that my father has taken his life, presumably by repeatedly slamming his head against the prison wall. There's blood everywhere and Katara checks him over, just as she did with Azula. I try to push the nausea down as I avoid looking at his mangled face; I still don't know how Katara can handle this. I stare at the words on the wall- _I have nothing left_-until she announces that he's gone too_._ Now I have nothing left…

We make arrangements for his funeral as well, and I turn to Uncle once Katara has left. "I'm not sorry he's dead."

His expression doesn't change. "I know."

"I never thought he would do this."

"Katara explained it yesterday. Like Azula, your father felt he had nothing left."

"He had me." My voice is quiet.

Uncle's eyes are understanding. "I know. But he _felt _he had nothing. In his mind, he had already disowned you."

I sigh. "I know."

He hugs me. "I love you, Nephew. I'm always here for you."

That only makes me feel slightly better. "Thank you, Uncle."

* * *

After my father's funeral, Katara and I fall into a pattern. We train together on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, then have meetings and other obligations all day on weekdays. On Saturdays, I train with Uncle in the morning, still trying to produce lightning, then Katara heals us before we help Uncle in his tea shop all day. Katara and Uncle spend Sundays in the shop as well, while I work in my mother's garden and meditate.

I live for the nights, though. Katara and I spend almost every night together, even if we're doing our own things. I've been working on my memoir and Katara's been studying waterbending scrolls that I found hidden in the Fire Nation library.

We also talk. We talk for hours about the war, about our lives before the war, about our hopes and dreams. I learn that Katara has always taken care of people; even when her parents were still alive she looked after Sokka. I learn that she mainly took the ambassador job because she wanted to help. She'd gotten close to people through the war and she had seen their suffering and she wanted to make things better. I tell her about my mother and about growing up with Azula. I tell her that I never thought she would accept me into her life or that I would end up on the Avatar's side. I tell her that I want to leave a positive legacy for the Fire Nation.

"You will," Katara says. "I know it."

She always makes me believe in myself.

* * *

I still can't create lightning. I'm not even close and I look like a fool. Then I look over at Katara, who's just mastered another difficult waterbending technique. Normally, I would be happy for her, but today… I try again, and fail. This is so frustrating! Without warning, I throw a fireball at the wall. Luckily, it's stone, so it doesn't burn.

Katara stops and looks at me. "What's wrong?"

All the pent up frustration explodes. "It's not fair! I'm the Firelord; I should be able to create lightning!"

"You'll get it."

Her voice is so reassuring and sweet that it makes me angrier. "Don't patronize me! You're a girl; you're supposed to be a healer! You shouldn't fight!"

Her face is turning red. "I saved your life with my waterbending!"

I snort. "Yeah, you tortured people. Way to go. You're so amazing."

Silence. My anger melts almost as quickly as it exploded. I can't believe I just said that.

The look on Katara's face is breaking my heart. "I can't believe you just said that."

I reach out for her. "Katara-"

But she just turns and walks away. I try to go after her, but all I get is a water whip to the face for my trouble. When she's out of sight, I slam my fist against the wall. Way to go, Zuko.

Katara doesn't even look at me during our meetings and is polite and reserved when she does have to address me. She even takes her meal in her room instead of eating with Uncle and me. She explains her absence by saying she isn't feeling well, but I know better.

When she falls asleep, I leave her favorite flower and an apology note on her nightstand. I also wait outside her room all night to force her to talk to me. She's leaving on a long trip to visit the various nations tomorrow and I'm not letting her leave while she's still mad.

* * *

I feel the door hit my back and look up at Katara. A small smile crosses her lips as she says, "This looks familiar."

"I want to make amends with you before you leave," I say, standing up.

"Do you?"

"I'm really sorry. I was a jealous jerk and I never should have said the things I did. You're incredibly talented and I let my jealousy get the best of me. I apologize."

Katara's quiet, her eyes on mine. For a moment, I'm worried she's going to smack me again. Then she speaks. "I accept your apology."

"Do you forgive me?" I hate the way my voice cracks.

"Yes."

Relief floods through me. "Thank you."

She smiles and we walk downstairs to join Uncle for breakfast. He smiles when he sees us and lays a box on the table, a gift for Katara. She gasps when she opens it and pulls out a barrette made from a white lotus tile. Uncle promises that it will keep her safe as she clips it into her hair and thanks him profusely.

We walk her out to the ship and Uncle embraces her before she climbs aboard. I wish I could embrace her too, but I'm the Firelord and need to be professional. So I just shake her hand and attempt to swallow the lump in my throat as they sail away. Uncle puts a hand on my shoulder. "She'll be fine."

"Promise?"

"Firelord Zuko…"

"I know."

* * *

At first, everything's fine. Katara sends notes via messenger hawk when she reaches each new nation and if a nation needs aid. Aang wants paint for the air temples, but nobody else wants assistance. That isn't surprising. I'm sure the Earth Kingdom especially wants nothing to do with us. When she reaches the air temples, my mind begins working in overdrive. I start thinking about Aang and Katara together and it makes me sick.

One night while I'm working on my memoir, I realize I've written a line of Katara's name instead of the memory I was working on. I sigh and put my brush down, then pull out my sketchbook. There are so many pictures of Katara; she's an amazing subject, especially when she's waterbending. My hand is moving without my permission, sketching her in her training clothes in my arms. Her skin so smooth and soft, her flat stomach, her silky hair, her fingers tracing my body…

I sit up so fast I almost fall over. Bad thoughts. Not now. I need to talk to Uncle.

"I can't stop thinking about her," I say by way of greeting.

"It's hard to be away from someone you love," Uncle says.

I sit at the Pi Shou table and bury my head in my hands. "Not love. I'm just…used to her being around."

He smiles. "You loved Katara even before you joined the Avatar."

"How do you figure?"

"Remember the day Katara threw you with the snow column? She's the only person who ever beat you, and she intrigued you."

I'm quiet, my thoughts jumbled.

"Just think on it, Nephew. It might help."

So I spend the evening in my mother's garden, thoughts solely on Katara. Uncle was right about one thing; Katara _had_ intrigued me at the North Pole. She's also the only person who's ever touched my scar. I can feel her fingers now, softly tracing my face. I _had_ changed in Ba Sing Se.

I dip my hand into the fountain and let the water run through my fingers. If I do love her…that explains why it bothered me so much that I betrayed her. Why I cared so much that she hated me before I helped her find the man who killed her mother. Come to think of it, that also explains my uncontrollable urge to kiss her and why I didn't want her to leave.

I can imagine her with her with me now, sitting beside me on the fountain, her hair falling over her shoulders. Tucking a strand behind her ear and watching her blush. Looking deep into her eyes and leaning in and…

Stop! I splash water on my face. I'm the Firelord; my duty is to my nation. I start back down the hill, then pause, looking up at the moon. I feel panicked all of the sudden, so I speak to the moon spirit. "Princess Yue, please keep Katara safe. I need to see her again."

I pretend she promises.


	12. Chapter 12

I miss Katara so much it physically hurts. I didn't even know this was possible. It's been too many months to count since I last saw her. Finally, as I'm finishing my training one morning, one of my servants tells me that the ambassador has arrived. I try to hide my excitement when I tell him to inform her that she is expected in meetings tomorrow. He bows before exiting, which is still a little weird for me.

The meetings today seem to take forever and my heart is pounding as I rush to dinner. Uncle and Katara are already seated at the table and Katara smiles when she sees me. I smile back, resisting the urge to hug her. Uncle and I are both extremely happy she's home safe and tell her so. I want to hear all about her journey, but she excuses herself to go to bed early.

So Uncle and I eat a nearly silent dinner. When I finally excuse myself, I just lie in bed thinking about Katara. I probably have a goofy smile on my face, but I don't care. She's finally home.

* * *

I smile at the no-longer-empty seat during meetings the following day, then frown when Katara takes her cloak off. There's a crescent moon-shaped burn on her shoulder blade.

"What happened?" I ask, pointing it out.

She sighs. "Some of the Earth Kingdom nations weren't happy that Fire Nation ships were so close to them and attacked."

"That's an act of war!" Izo yells.

"No," Katara says firmly. "I deflected the attack, but the crew of my ship returned fire and one of them hit me."

"Who?" I demand.

"It's not important; it was an accident. I eased the tensions and commanded my crew not to do anything. King Bumi and Haru helped tremendously." She looks at me. "Haru is the head of one of the nations now."

The council is still upset. Phrases like "act of war," "shouldn't happen," and "completely unacceptable" float up.

I glance over at Katara, who looks frustrated. So I speak up. "Quiet!"

Silence falls almost immediately. Katara shoots me a grateful look before saying, "Well, how would you feel if another nation came in and destroyed your home and your livelihood?"

I watch with interest as that sinks in. Several council members look embarrassed; others look annoyed, but nobody speaks. I signal her to continue.

She outlines the aid situation. As expected, the Earth Kingdom does not want aid; they're taking care of their own. The Northern Water Tribe is helping the Southern Water Tribe, and Aang only wants more paint for the temples. That isn't difficult.

Then Katara lays four books, two scrolls, and a ledger on the table. I recognize the Fire Nation history book, as well as the writings of the past three Firelords. The other three books are history books from the other nations. Katara has noticed that the Fire Nation history is accurate up to Firelord Sozin, but becomes propaganda after that. When she says that, I try to remain neutral, but I think I know where she's going with it. Several councilmen frown.

When she speaks again, I'm right. She wants to accurately rewrite the last 100 years of Fire Nation history using the former Firelords' writings. She also wants to write a comprehensive history of all of the nations, including the war. She needs our permission to do so, though.

"Those are very bold undertakings," Hirokazu says.

"Yes, sir," she replies respectfully. "I believe it is important, though. We need to learn from the past so we don't repeat mistakes."

Katara leaves the room while we hold a vote. Everyone voices their opinions, leading to a good ten minutes of debate. We decide to allow her to write the history, and the smile on her face lights up the room.

After dinner, I pull her aside. "Why didn't you tell me about the attack in your letters?"

"I didn't want you to worry," she replies.

"Why didn't you heal it?" I don't like seeing her perfect skin scarred.

"I didn't have time. I was trying to ease tensions. I didn't have a moment to myself for the first three days. By then it was too late."

I touch the scar with my finger and she pulls away, handing me a piece of paper and effectively changing the subject. An invitation to Sokka and Suki's wedding. I knew that was going to happen.

* * *

We leave early the day of the wedding. I'm in traditional Fire Nation attire; Katara wears a blue and red dress and Uncle's barrette, a mix of Fire Nation and Water Tribe. She looks amazing, and I tell her so. She smiles, blushing slightly as she returns the compliment.

Aang touches down on Appa with a girl in Water Tribe clothes who he introduces as Anna from the North Pole. They all talk as we fly toward the Earth Kingdom, but I can't stop looking back and forth between Katara and Anna. Katara with her tan skin, turquoise eyes, and shiny dark hair. Katara so alive and vibrant. Anna is basically the paler version of her.

Toph feels the need to point that out when she and Sokka greet us. "Well, Twinkletoes, looks like you traded in a warrior for a healer."

Aang's face instantly turns red and Anna looks confused. Wow. That's going to be fun to explain. But Katara quickly diffuses the situation by taking Anna to see Suki. Probably a good idea. Aang looks pissed.

Once they're out of eye and earshot, he turns to Toph "Why did you say that?"

"It's not like it isn't true."

"Anna was standing right there!" His face is even redder now. I can't remember the last time I saw Aang this angry.

Toph shrugs. "Sorry." Then she turns to me. "You find a woman yet? Or are you still married to your nation?"

I'm so shocked by the question I'm not even sure how to answer. That was a rapid topic switch.

"Toph!" Aang yells.

She throws her hands up innocently. "What? It's just a question."

Before any of us can say anything, Katara and Anna come back and announce that it's time for the wedding to begin. We sit in order: Anna, Aang, Katara, me, Toph. Suki, in traditional Earth Kingdom attire, looks very pretty. Sokka looks kind of scared.

During the ceremony, Toph leans over and whispers, "If I were you, I would snatch her up before someone else does."

"Who?" I ask, though I have a feeling I know who she's referring to.

"You know who."

Yup. I glance next to me at Katara, who has tears in her eyes. Then I realize Sokka and Suki have just exchanged wedding bands and are about to kiss. An uninvited image of Katara and me enters my mind, immediately causing my heart to pound. I need to stop thinking this way.

We have dinner and dancing after the ceremony. Katara, Aang, Anna, Toph, Haru, and I are at the same table, and Haru and Katara talk nonstop. He also asks her to dance, igniting a jealousy I didn't know I had. Toph shoots me a triumphant look, but nobody else seems to be paying attention. Dance partners change throughout the night: Haru and Katara, Sokka and Suki, Sokka and Toph, Suki and me, Aang and Anna, Aang and Katara. I finally claim Katara for the last set of dances, especially the slow ones. Holding her close and looking into her eyes feels so right. She's a good dancer too; her moves are graceful and fluid, just like when she waterbends.

We say our good-byes quickly once everything is over. When Haru hugs Katara and whispers something that makes her smile, I turn away. The ride is silent, aside from Appa's breathing. Anna is asleep with her head on Aang's lap and Katara seems lost in thought. I just admire how beautiful she looks in the moonlight, the beams of light making her barrette sparkle. Her face is peaceful, relaxed, and for a moment I wish I could lose myself as completely in my thoughts as she can. I've never really gotten the hang of meditation. Maybe I should ask her to teach me.

* * *

We don't have meetings the following day, so Katara and I decide to clean out Azula's room. One of the first things we find is her journal. We pause, looking down at it. I want to read it, but at the same time I don't want to invade her privacy. Katara says nothing; she's leaving the decision up to me. Finally my curiosity wins out, so we spend the afternoon and evening reading.

_My brother is now a traitor. He's joined the Avatar. No matter, when I find them I'll take the waterbender girl and make the others watch me torture her. I'll burn every inch of her body and stop her heart with a lightning strike. The others will be too upset to fight._

My stomach twists as I look over at Katara. "I can't believe you were able to read that."

"It's disturbing," she agrees.

We keep paging through it and start to see the Azula we knew break.

_I've had to throw Mai and Ty Lee in prison. Mai helped the traitor and the boomerang boy escape. Then Ty Lee blocked me when I tried to punish Mai. Obviously they're both working with the enemy._

_Father is leaving me in charge of the Fire Nation while he goes to fight the Avatar. He promised I'll be Firelord when he's crowned Phoenix King, but I know better. He just wants the glory of killing the Avatar for himself. He knows I'm stronger than he is._

_I've fired all my servants. One tried to kill me with a cherry pit and another tried to poison me with wine. They must all be working with the enemy to destroy me. I can trust no one…_

This side of Azula is scaring me. When I look up, Katara's eyes are sad. "I never wanted it to end that way."

"You were right." I gesture at the book. "'If my so-called best friends can betray me, anyone can.'"

There's one more entry, so we read it together in silence.

_Tomorrow is my coronation. The best part? I'm sure the traitor will return to ruin my day and I'm sure he won't be alone. We'll fight an Agni Kai and I'll destroy him, but first I'll have my way with that stupid waterbender. I don't know what kind of magic she used, but I'll prove to her and the traitor that nobody toys with me. Her body will be nothing but burnt flesh when I'm finished; she and the traitor will be begging me to stop. But I'll never stop. Not until they're all dead. _

We sit in silence for a moment, the journal open between us. I'm trying to get the image of Azula torturing Katara out of my head, but she described it so vividly. That explains why something seemed so off-kilter when Aula and I fought the Agni Kai. She was already breaking.

Finally, I close the journal and suggest finishing the room tomorrow. This is too much right now. She agrees; I think she feels the same way. After we leave the book on Azula's desk and walk to our own rooms, Katara embraces me briefly, something she doesn't usually do. I guess she's shaken by Azula's words as well. I cast the journal from my mind admire the way her hair swings when she turns to enter her own room. Then I snap myself out of it. Stop it, Zuko.

* * *

We spend the following day in Azula's room, separating her belongings. Bedding and furniture, all that can stay. Toiletries and personal items we'll get rid of. By evening, we've separated everything and decide we'll just turn her room into a guest room.

The evening is ours for leisure. Katara is working on the Fire Nation history; I'm working on my memoir, my thoughts going between past and present. Haru and Katara are still so close, and Aang still looks at her in that way, and it's not a pleasant feeling. Especially because Haru doesn't have a significant other. He and Katara could easily begin a relationship.

Katara's voice breaks me out of my thoughts. "It was nice seeing everyone at the wedding. Aang has really grown up."

Suddenly, I'm pissed. No warning, just blood rushing to my face, wanting to hit something, anger. "You regretting your decision to stay here?"

She looks confused. "What are you-"

But I cut her off. "If you weren't here, you could be with him."

"I don't regret anything. Besides, Aang seems perfectly happy with Anna."

"Because he's pretending she's you!"

She throws her hands up, obviously frustrated. "Why are you acting this way? Are you still upset about the comment Toph made about you not having a woman?"

Confusion melts my anger. "How do you know that?"

"I overheard her."

"If I wanted a woman, I would already have her."

Katara looks away from me, out the window. Her voice is quiet when she eventually speaks. "There's no woman you want right now?"

I pause. Is it time to reveal my feelings? It would be so easy to just say, _Yes. Yes, I want you. You're the woman I want._ Then I sigh. No, not yet. Nation first. "No."

"Okay." She stands and gathers her work, still not looking in my direction. "I'm going to bed. Good night."

As she passes me, I notice her face is red. _Really_ red, like she's going to cry. What's going on? What did I say?


End file.
